40 things about being 40

I turned forty last week and with this mile stone I thought I would give you my list enjoy.

1 Baking bread is suddenly good.

2 As is playing a guitar.

3 The prospect of playing a guitar in public is terrifying.

4 You jump when your mobile phones go off at the cinema .

5 You forget to turn your mobile to silent in the cinema.

6 You have a life-belt rather than a six-pack.

7 Your younger colleagues think your sex drive is a lie. (little do they know.)

8 You buy more chart music than ever but still go home and slap on madonna’s like a prayer.

9 You start running for health, not for looks. (or try to.)

10 You punch the next person who says “life begins at forty.” and laugh when anyone uses a fist bump in place of a hand shake.

11 It takes a lot longer to get worked up.

12 Harmless flirting may not be perceived as being so harmless. You don’t want to be known as a dirty old man.

13 Maybe Twitter has passed you by.

14 You worry about being wrong, you apologise for being right.

15 Moisturiser for men is firmly embedded within the morning routine.

16 Thinking about death begins to compete with the six second thoughts about sex.

17 You sit at traffic lights singing along to pet shop boys. Girls at the traffic lights laugh at you. You don’t care, you only sing louder.

18 When your boss asks you when you can do some urgent task, you welcome the challenge.

19 You think groups of younger people who wear hooded sweatshirts with the hood up look sinister. You feel like you should cross the street to avoid them.

20 You go out drinking less often due to the realisation that it’s rubbish and the musics to loud to talk.

21 You become less certain of things than you used to be.

22 On the rare accession you go out, you feel uncomfitable because all the girls seem to be wearing little more than there underwear.

23 Reading is the new tv. Because everything seems shallow on the box.

24 Board games make a comeback.

25 10:00pm becomes the new midnight.

26 You find children more interesting, and are less perturbed about making small talk with them.

27 You increasingly find your self searching magazine racks for diverting entertainment.

28 You can cut through the smalltalk and to get to the point. (Or looking at this list maybe not.)

29 Your teen years are now considered retro and cool.

30 You find solace in crashing waves.

31 You begin to worry about the decline of public services.

32 You wonder if you will ever see the seven great wonders of the world, or even outside of Europe.  

33 You have a ton of fabulous friends who also just turned forty, or are about to.

34 You think nothing of spending £12 on a bottle of wine or £30+ on a bottle of whisky.

35 You take a thermos pretty much everywhere, filled with your favourite coffee.

36 The urge to give in to peer-pressure disappears. (So I’ve been told.)

37 You talk like you have something interesting to say. (and don’t care if its not that interesting.)

38 Your never on your own anymore.

39 Your on your own to much.

40 You know the best thing about reaching forty is that fifty is ten years away.

 

 

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