Don’t we love to talk

gossip

 

As people we love to talk, we love to socialise and network. Dale Carnegie had a great quote: –

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

I suppose your wondering where I’m going with all this? Well it’s the “why” we as a species like to talk and network or dare I say it, “Gossip.”

Gossip can be a very good vehicle for moving a story on, or for-shadowing a future event. Two characters discussing another character is very helpful when you need an aspect of their personality for-shadowed.

So to understand Gossip we need to know why we do it in the first place.

We can express ourselves through the arts, I.e., music, religion, writing, politics, and even science. But what do we talk about most of the time? It’s not the above list I’m sure. I have read that two-thirds of all human conversation is gossip. This may come as an unwelcome reminder of our interest in the personal lives of others. But if you think about it most gossip is not negative. Most is just chitchat about who is having a baby or what colour someone’s going to paint the lounge. Whatever the moral status, gossip serves an important evolutionary purpose. It’s like a verbal grooming, ape’s pick each others flea’s and stroke each others fur. As for our social grooming, we talk and gossip.

The term gossip once meant, “A person related to one in God, The word later came to mean a close (female) friend or companion. This later translated into the modern definition of gossip, “small talk, and rumour” or “to talk about the affairs of others,” I like this one.

Somewhere along the line of our evolution, we evolved the capacity for language; gossip replaced our physical social grooming. According to Robin Dunbar, a professor at the University of Liverpool and a leading researcher on human gossip, “language evolved specifically for the purpose of gossip.” It functions to make a bond within your social group, It can resolve conflicts, build social networks, clarifying social status, also it can help to influence others. Gossip is therefore a powerful way of strengthening the social bonds we already have.

Stated by Kate Fox, “Gossip generally involves more than the sharing of information about people’s lives and relationships: it usually involves the expression of opinions or feelings about this information.” Although opinions may not be directly stated, they may be heavily implied through tone of voice or body language. It shows their views on the subject matter. It’s not necessarily negative. However, this is not to say that negative views do not exist, as they definitely do; and these negative comments serve a very important function.

When someone engages in negative gossip with a trustworthy person they are strengthening the social bond with that person.

Although other animals have mating calls and grunts, only the human species uses language to such a degree. Gossip is what humans use to establish and maintain relationships, resolve conflicts, build social networks, influence others. Gossip undoubtedly works as a social mechanism. So when someone asks if you’re gossiping, answer with a big fat “YES”. As, we are all very good at it.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

fathers-day-4

 

Father. Dad. Daddy. Pops. The Old Man. 

I’m quite sure I called him each one of these at least one or twice. If memory serves me, my sister love to call him pops. Without a doubt he was one of the most influential role models in my life, he was an amazing man. This is becoming more and more apparent as the years start to pass now that he is gone. He had a huge heart and loved his family, especially at times like today when we would all come together to celebrate his accomplishment of being the father of four children. I admire his drive to have his own business, his dream was to have all his children working with him in a family business. Sadly this dream was never realised but his willingness to take that risk is worth admiration. I loved the way people would always have something nice to say about him.

My dad didn’t get to stay with us as long as I would have liked. He passed away two years ago. But not forgotten is what today is about, because he is and never will be forgotten. My relationship with my Dad has influenced me in ways I would never have imagined. He loved his poetry and my older brother has taken that torch with a flair that would make my dad proud. My oldest brother has his temperament and holds it so close I sometimes have a double take when he speaks, again my dad would be very proud. As for my sister, well she has his humour in abundance. When she laughs, she lights up just as he used to. If you catch her in the right moment she would probably laugh her-self into the ground. 

As for me, well I have his story telling. He was the master of telling a story. He would reminisce about old army days and rugby tails of fights and laughs. Out of all my siblings I believe I got the best deal. I have children of my own and they call me dad now, (never pops or old man) and if I take one lesson I have learnt from my dad, it is that your children will always need you even though they say they don’t. I will be the best father I can be as my dad was the best he could be. 

On Father’s Day tell your Dad you love him, or if he isn’t here, take a moment to think of him.

Happy Fathers day Dad.

People you just have to love them.

ImageYou know, I think I like writing because I like people. We are great, we have imagination. No other animal really has it. Our social skills are above and beyond what we need.
I am a developing writer, but my job is in quality assurance. I was a decorator for many years before this and I meet all kinds of people from the very kind, to the very selfish. From the rich, to the poor. The one thing I have learnt from my twenty odd years is that as a whole people are great to be around. Nintey nine point nine percent of them want to know you and want you to know them. It’s great, I love it and love a lot of them.
Now there is the point one percent thet are manipulative and cruel. They try to guide you through their life like there own personal toy. Let’s not be coy, we all manipulate each other, its in our nature. It’s what we do best. The problem comes when we put our self interest so far above others that we forget what is really Important. And that is community, this is why I write and why I’m doing this now. I want you to read this, not for any other reason, other than I like to talk and feel that you may be interested in what I have to say.

Back when I was decorating this point one percent of people would raise there heads in the form of picky customers. The ones that have to complane about this and that. “It’s to expensive.” “It took to long.” Or my favourite “I paid you for perfection.” when actually they nocked down the price to the point that it was not possible to compleat the job in the time they paid for. Quality cost time and as the saying goes, ‘Time is money.’
That said nearly all the people and customers I come in contact with are nice good people.
And this is why I do what I do.

Happy Wednesday people I hope it’s a good one. As I’m sure it will be for me.